Sunny Pathway

Monday, February 2, 2009

Mentoring

Shortly after realizing I wasn’t responsible for everyone at all times—and that I didn’t have to carry everyone’s burdens (see Saturday’s post)—I attended a conference. Among other features, there was a workshop on mentoring that I didn’t attend—I was afraid I’d come out feeling responsible again. But a friend did attend and she encouraged me to purchase an audio tape of the session. From the tape I learned helpful concepts.

According to the gal leading the workshop, mentoring relationships grow out of natural relationships. She didn’t think of mentors as individuals carrying burdens. Nor was a mentor someone in a position of authority over the person receiving help. In fact, mentors aren’t necessarily long-term—although they might be.

If you know someone who can teach or lead in an area of need, you can think of them as a mentor and glean what you can. For example, if the person has a flare for cooking, you might pick up cooking skills. Or perhaps someone can advise you on decorating. Or, on looking up Biblical references. Or on the value of prayer. Or on how to discipline children.

I can live with that concept of mentoring. It’s interesting that this entire scenario should come to mind at this time—an example of God’s provision, I think.

There’s a young gal in my life who recently referred to me as her mentor. I panicked because I'd forgotten the teaching from the workshop—I was afraid of being overwhelmed by burdens, and I was afraid mentoring would put me in a position of authority, would destroy a friendship. Furthermore, she has major health issues that I’d like to fix-but can’t.

Remembering this teaching puts things in perspective. I can’t be responsible for my friend. I can only encourage her, primarily in a specific area. Beyond that, I can pray and offer emotional support—if I don’t allow myself to become overwhelmed by her burdens. And I can forget about being an authority over her. What a relief.

(There’s another element called intercessory prayer that does include carrying burdens, but never over the long term and never as an authority figure. It’s a huge subject, something to cover another time.)

I believe both being a mentor and receiving input from mentors are essential for going forward. It’s something I need to learn anew as I’m re-entering into relationships again. Have I mentioned recently that God never stops dealing with His children, not even as they grow older? I’m excited. I think it's another new step.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

nicely said!
cindy

Solveig said...

Thanks. Mentoring in this context is quite doable.